Over the past several months, I’ve had the privilege of sitting down with more than twenty women over 55. Some were divorced, some considering it. Others were exploring retirement, contemplating a career shift, or simply standing at a crossroads wondering, What comes next?
I didn’t set out to find a pattern. But one emerged anyway.
What surprised me most wasn’t their differences—it was how remarkably similar their stories were. No matter their backgrounds, their professions, or their circumstances, the same quiet truths kept surfacing. These conversations were vulnerable and honest in the way only real conversations can be. And they revealed what so many women at this age carry silently.
If you see yourself in these words, know this: you are not alone. Not even close.
1. “I am carrying so much.”
This was the refrain I heard most often. Not said with drama, but with the kind of quiet exhaustion that comes from years of holding it all together.
Today’s women over fifty-five are juggling aging parents who live longer than any previous generation, adult children who still need support (emotional, financial, or both), demanding careers, volunteer commitments, household management, and—for many—the emotional labor of a struggling marriage or the aftermath of divorce.
One woman, a former attorney turned philanthropist, described racing between her mother’s medical appointments, supporting her adult children, managing a foundation, and trying to keep her marriage from unraveling. She told me, “I can’t find myself anymore. I’m buried under everything I’m doing for everyone else.”
She wasn’t the only one.
Nearly every woman I spoke to described feeling sandwiched in a way that our mothers and grandmothers simply weren’t. And what made it harder was the sense that there was no time left for themselves. Not even five minutes.
2. “I feel overlooked.”
This one broke my heart because I heard it from almost every woman—married, single, retired, or still climbing the corporate ladder.
Many said they felt invisible at work, even after decades of accomplishment. They described being passed over for promotions, dismissed in meetings, or subtly pushed aside while younger employees were elevated. Others felt overlooked at home or in their relationships, as if their needs and contributions had faded into the wallpaper.
Here’s the truth: women in their sixties are often at the height of their wisdom, leadership, and emotional intelligence. Yet the world doesn’t always reflect that back to them.
My encouragement? Notice who makes you feel unseen, and stop giving them your precious time. Instead, give your attention to the people and environments that recognize your value.
Feeling overlooked isn’t proof that you’re less. Often, it’s a sign that you’re meant to expand into a new chapter—not shrink inside the old one.
3. “Is retirement even the goal?”
Many women told me they were questioning the cultural script that says sixty-five equals retirement. They no longer relate to the idea of stepping aside or winding down.
Instead, they spoke about wanting to pivot, not retire. Some called it “rewirement.” Others described dreaming of using their gifts in new ways or leaving behind jobs that no longer fit—but feeling unsure of what comes next.
Women today are living longer, healthier, and more vibrant lives. For many, this stage isn’t an ending. It’s a beginning.
I often tell my clients: retirement is not a requirement. It’s a choice. And if something inside you is calling for change, that’s momentum—not decline.
4. “I don’t give myself permission to create white space.”
White space is that time when you’re not doing anything productive. The time when you sit, breathe, stroll, reflect, or simply exist without a checklist hovering over you.
Almost every woman I interviewed struggled with this. They were raised to believe that rest equals laziness. That productivity is the measure of worth. And if they stopped moving, they feared being confronted with feelings they’d been avoiding.
But white space isn’t indulgent. It’s essential. It’s where clarity emerges, where creativity grows, where we finally hear ourselves again.
Women told me they longed for slow mornings, quiet afternoons, or a few uninterrupted hours with a book—without the guilt. Their nervous systems were begging for space, yet they kept pushing through every day.
One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves in this stage of life is permission to pause.
5. “Who will take care of me?”
Whether married, divorced, partnered, or single, this fear came up constantly. Women worried about becoming ill, needing help, and not knowing who would be there. They worried about the financial cost of long-term care. They worried about growing old alone.
This fear is real. But it often grows when our minds live too far in the future.
The antidote? Information and support. Understanding your options for care, exploring long-term care insurance, talking with financial planners, researching senior communities, and speaking openly with loved ones can dramatically reduce anxiety.
And beyond logistics, there’s something else: reconnecting with the present moment. When you’re grounded in today, fear about tomorrow loses its grip.
A Final Truth: Aging Is Not Diminishing. It’s Expanding.
Every woman I spoke to had more strength, more compassion, more self-awareness, and more wisdom than she realized. They were leaders in their families, their friendships, their communities, and their careers. They had survived losses, divorce, reinvention, heartbreak, and transformation.
What I want every woman to know is this:
You are not behind.
You are not fading.
You are not done.
You are entering a stage filled with clarity, power, and possibility. You are allowed to dream again. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to pivot. You are allowed to take up space.
And you are allowed to ask for help.
Growing older is a privilege. And doing it with awareness, courage, and community is one of the most beautiful journeys there is.
If you’re reading this and seeing your own story in these words, know that you’re in very good company. And you don’t have to navigate this chapter alone.
Like this article? Check out: Getting Older, Reinventing Yourself and Finding Love-The Right Kind of Love