Something is happening to me. It’s been very gradual, but remarkably noticeable. I’m not sure why it’s happening, but two reasons come to mind: Either I’m getting older, or I’m in a really, really good place and therefore living in a state of continuous gratitude. Maybe it’s a combination, but something in me has shifted. If you are feeling broken, please keep reading.
More and more lately, I feel God’s presence constantly. I feel it all day long. I feel Him first thing when I wake up, and before I go to sleep. I feel Him in my day-to-day decision-making, in my parenting, in my relationships, in nature and in people. He is everywhere. And guess what? I am really loving it.
I am not feeling broken, but there was a time when I sure did—when my marriage was ending and I was a single mom who was out of work, and who didn’t really know who I was. It was a sad, empty, lonely, hopeless, awful feeling, and it lasted for a lot longer than it should have.
What I want to tell you if you are feeling broken is that God is right in front of you. There is a difference between religion and God, so if you are reading this and thinking, “I’m not a church person,” that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m telling you that God isn’t just in a house of worship. God is everywhere and He is here for you, and waiting for you to come to Him.
He is wanting you to believe in Him and talk to him and study the bible and pray to Him. Why? Because God loves you. Yes, you heard me. God loves you. I know that feeling of not feeling loved during divorce. Of feeling insecure and scared and sad and empty and lonely and angry. I know that feeling of looking for love by jumping into another romantic relationship, or by going out with friends and drinking to soothe your pain, or thinking therapy is the answer.
I think therapy is good. But there is a coping mechanism that is right in front of you. It’s all around you and it’s available 24/7. It’s God. He’s the coping mechanism that goes far beyond soothing your pain and managing your emotional wellbeing. He’s here for the bigger picture—for the bad times and the good times, and for the rest of your life and even beyond.
Here are the benefits of talking to God, praying to God, asking Him for help, studying the bible, and feeling and acknowledging God’s presence:
People going through a divorce often have a hard time dealing with the uncontrollables—the way your ex is acting, the legal process, how the kids are coping, your ex getting into a new relationship quickly. It’s hard to accept that you have no control over these things, and that can cause anxiety and worry. What can you control? YOU. You can believe that God has your back, you can ask God for things, you can thank God for things. Having that control has a calming effect. It takes away anxiety.
If you believe God exists and you believe He loves you, than it makes sense that he will keep you safe, right? It doesn’t always feel that way, and sometimes you might wonder, “Why is God doing this to me?” I have asked that question countless times in my life. The answer is, it is His will and His intentions are good. Trust Him. Keep praying and God will keep you safe, even if it looks different than what you thought it would look like.
- It feels warm and loving.
The darkest times, including feeling broken, are the most important times to express gratitude for the things you have. This isn’t easy to do, but if you focus on the good, it will ground you, give you hope, and reassure you that God loves you and that things are going to get better.
Jelly Roll’s recent Grammy acceptance speech actually motivated me to write this article. Here is part of his speech:
There was a time in my life y’all that I was broken. That’s why I wrote this album. I didn’t think I had a chance. There was days that I thought the darkest things, I was a horrible human. There was a moment in my life that all I had was a Bible this big and a radio the same size of a 6×8 foot cell. And I believed that those two things could change my life. I believed that music had the power to change my life, and God had the power to change my life. And I want to tell y’all right now, Jesus is for everybody. Jesus is not owned by one political party. Jesus is not owned by no music label. Jesus is Jesus and anybody can have a relationship with him. I love you, Lord!”
You are not in prison. You are getting divorced, and feeling broken might feel just as bad to you, because you might be in your own prison. Who can get you out? God can. Let Him into your heart and you will see things start to change.
Start talking to God. Start listening to some bible podcasts. I’m telling you, you will get hooked and you will truly find peace and comfort. When you find yourself angry with someone, you will pray for the person instead of judge. When you feel wronged, you will find yourself more forgiving, and you will pray for the person who wronged you. When you feel lonely, you won’t feel so alone because you will feel the presence of God. This shift might cause you to start hanging around like-minded people, who will lift you up and make you feel even less alone and more loved.
Perhaps the largest transition in believing in God comes in the form of self-forgiveness and self-love. No one is perfect, that’s why we are called humans. We all make mistakes and God forgives us and loves us. So, if He forgives and loves us, doesn’t it make sense that we forgive and love ourselves?
I think it’s accurate to say that everyone strives for a life filled with joy, love, and meaning. Much of these things are in our control, and trying to be the best person we can be, can help achieve these things.
God is really the only unknown we know. He is the only One we can choose to believe in and trust in when we have no tangible proof. Yet if you think about it, every breath we take, and every miracle-from the biggest to the tiniest, is the proof. In other words, if you want to go from broken to blessed, trust God’s will. He will walk with you on that beautiful, meaningful path.
Like this article? Check out “I Am Angry With God About the Divorce”