What does it mean to be bold? Being bold can be interpreted in so many ways. It can mean loud and obnoxious, or pushy, if you think of it in a negative way. But being bold, in my opinion is a good thing with so many benefits, and I realized that on a recent flight home.
I’m not the greatest flyer, although once up in the air I find flying peaceful and soothing. To be disconnected from the outside world and focused on the beauty of the sky is wonderful. Barring any unexpected turbulence, that is. But I’m usually a little uneasy before takeoff. So, when I noticed that there was someone on a Facetime call (which was so loud everyone was looking around trying to figure out who it was), not only was it very rude and annoying, but the plane was about to take off and it was unsafe. There’s a reason they tell you to put your phone on airplane mode. Know what I’m saying?
So, I’m in a window seat, and a young girl sitting in the aisle seat in my row says to me, “It’s that guy,” and points to this seventies-something man one row in front of me but all the way on the other side in the window seat. I couldn’t believe no one was saying anything, and the flight attendants were already seated. I didn’t want to ring my call button because I didn’t want to stop the takeoff. So, BOLDLY I shout, “Excuse me, would you mind getting off your phone? We are about to take off.”
“Are you in charge?!” he shouts back at me. He then says to whomever he’s talking to, “Some bitch is telling me to get off the phone.”
Another bold woman who was sitting behind the guy shouts, “You could be interfering with the tower. You need to get off your phone.”
The guy then turns around, looks right at me and says, “Are you in charge?! What are you, a vigilante?!”
At this point we are in the air, so not sure exactly when he got off his phone. I have to say, I couldn’t believe people weren’t more bold. Don’t they care about safety on an airplane?
Fast forward, during the flight, I get up to use the restroom and out of the corner of my eye, I see the guy trying to get my attention. I was not going to play, so I ignored him. Fast forward again, after landing, I get off the plane and I’m walking to baggage claim, and there’s my friend, sitting on a bench. I lock eyes with him and he says, “Bitch.” It was creepy.
I reply, “You are unstable and you need to get some help.” Ok, I know. I shouldn’t have said anything, but at this point, I was enraged. I mean, he called me a bitch for trying to keep everyone safe.
As I kept walking, I could hear him shouting, “Get a life! Get a life! Get a life!” so loud that people were staring at him. I never looked back.
One could argue that the deranged senior citizen and I were both bold, but there’s a difference. His boldness was about arrogance and self-riotousness. I was originally being bold because I was concerned about safety.
I learned a couple things. First, I don’t regret starting up with him because I did it for the right reasons. I do regret my comment, “You are unstable and you need to get some help,” because it was unnecessary and reactive.
Here’s what I want to say about being bold. Being bold means standing up for what’s right, even if it might feel uncomfortable or scary. If you think about it, isn’t that what deciding to get divorced essentially is?
What does it mean to be bold?
Being bold in a divorce means not letting a divorce bully get to you. It means negotiating what you really feel you deserve in the divorce. How do you do that? You educate yourself by talking with a divorce coach, a mediator, a CDLP, a financial advisor, a therapist, and then you have facts and you can ask for what you feel you deserve and back it up with facts.
Being bold in a divorce also means setting boundaries and not putting up with abusive behavior by your soon-to-be ex. It means facing your fears, which can include being and living alone for awhile, living on less money, maybe going back to work, being a single parent, dating again, and more.
Being bold in a divorce isn’t easy. It can feel uncomfortable because you’ve put up with the status quo for so long. But being bold sure does feel good. It makes you feel powerful, like you matter, and like you’re making a difference. It also precipitates self-love, oftentimes as a result of having the guts to do the right thing, not the easy thing.
What does it mean to be bold in life, in general?
To me, being bold means that you are a leader more than a follower. Think about it. Most people are followers. If it’s popular in their circles to hate Trump, they hate Trump. If it’s popular in their circles to hate Biden, they hate Biden. Being bold means educating yourself and making your own decisions, not caring if someone disapproves of your political beliefs or any other belief or value you have.
Being bold means living your life authentically and doing what you know you were meant to do. Being bold is taking risks. I’m not talking about careless risks, but rather calculated risks to get to a place you want to get to. Being bold means actually having the guts to pursue your passions.
Being bold can also mean surrounding yourself with like-minded people, who make you feel good about yourself, who lift you up, who you want to be like, and who don’t laugh or minimize your ideas and dreams. And being bold is about failing, at times, learning from those mistakes, forgiving yourself, and moving on knowing you are better and wiser from the mistake.
When I look back on my airplane incident, I think to myself, ‘Did I really want to be the one to say something?’ The answer is no. But in the end, I truly spoke out for safety reasons, and honestly, I was a little disappointed that no one else stepped up. I knew they cared because I saw so many heads looking around trying to find and/or staring at the jerk on his phone. But they chose to stay silent. I guess what I’m saying is, being bold is special. It’s daring to go outside your comfort zone to do what is right or to speak up against something wrong. The question is, how bold are you willing to be? The answer is simple: how happy do you want to be?
Like this article? Check out “How Divorce Changes a Woman: 9 MORE Things I Learned in Divorce”