When to Move in Together: Signs, Tips & Checklists

Answering all your burning questions about cohabitation, plus a 22-point checklist and key signs it’s time to take the leap

The best time to move in together is when your lease timelines align, your financial situation is stable, and you’ve agreed on how to split rent, utilities, and other responsibilities. Whether you’re moving into your partner’s rental in NYC or both searching for a new apartment in Chicago, ensure your living habits are compatible and consider a trial period.

Ultimately, cohabitation should feel like a natural step that aligns with your relationship and housing goals. This guide will walk you through key considerations from a rental perspective, tailored to your region, and provide a moving in checklist to ensure a smooth transition. And hey, if you can survive assembling IKEA furniture together, you’re probably ready.

5 signs you’re ready to move in together

Moving in together is a significant step in any relationship, and it’s crucial that both partners are prepared and committed. Here are the indicators that you might be ready to share a space:

1. Aligned goals: You both share similar long-term aspirations, like career goals and future planning, and view living together as a natural progression towards these shared objectives.
2. Stable finances: You are both financially stable and have a clear understanding and agreement on how to handle shared expenses such as rent and utilities. A joint budget is already in place to avoid financial misunderstandings.
3. Healthy communication: You consistently resolve conflicts calmly and communicate needs effectively. Your strong communication skills are essential for living together successfully.
4. Compatible habits: Having spent considerable time in each other’s spaces, you’ve confirmed that your living habits—like cleanliness and noise preferences—are compatible.
5. Support network: There is already strong support from friends and loved ones, providing reassurance and affirming the health of your relationship.

Tips for moving in together: A Before, during, and after the move checklist

Successfully moving in together requires careful planning. Here are tips to consider when moving in with your partner for each stage of the process:

Before moving in:

• Establish a budget: Sit down together and discuss all potential living costs — from rent and utilities to groceries and shared subscriptions. Be transparent about your financial limits and decide whether expenses will be split equally or proportionally based on income in a budget sheet. Remember to include a buffer for unexpected moving in costs like home repairs or emergency expenses.
• Create a moving timeline: Sync your moving dates with the end of your current lease agreements to avoid paying double rent. Consider your work obligations and possibly schedule some time off for the move. Outline key dates for packing, moving, and unpacking to keep everything on track.
• Sort belongings: Declutter and organize your belongings before you move. Go through each item you own and decide whether to keep, donate, or sell. This is particularly important for duplicate items like kitchen appliances or furniture. Engage in this activity together to make decisions that suit both parties.
• Discuss pet ownership and responsibilities: If you have pets, agree on care responsibilities and space needs.
• Discuss expectations: Set aside time to discuss how you’ll handle daily living arrangements. Talk about how chores will be divided, how you’ll decorate your shared space, and how much personal space each person will need. Establishing these guidelines early can help prevent disagreements later.
• Finding a new place: Look for a rental that accommodates both of your needs in terms of size, location, amenities, and budget. This often means starting fresh in a space that neither partner has preconceptions about, which can help in creating a shared home that feels equally yours. If you’re considering moving into your partner’s current space, assess whether the existing space truly fits both partners’ needs. Discuss modifications that might be necessary, such as rearranging furniture, upgrading features, or even redecorating together to blend styles and possessions.

During the move:

• Hire help if needed: Depending on your budget and the volume of things you’re moving, consider hiring professional movers to simplify the process. If that’s not feasible, ask friends or family for help on moving day.
• Label boxes clearly: Use a systematic approach to packing — label each box with its contents and intended room. This will not only speed up the unpacking process but also help you prioritize which boxes to open first.
• Space optimization tips: When setting up your new space, consider how to best use the area to accommodate both partners. Utilize creative storage solutions, like under-bed storage or over-the-door organizers. Consider room dividers or strategically placed furniture to define different areas of a studio or open floor plan, maintaining a sense of personal space and order.
• Highlight hidden costs and savings opportunities: As you organize and settle into your new space, be mindful of hidden costs such as renter’s insurance, parking fees, or the need for additional furniture upgrades which might not have been necessary in your previous living situations. Conversely, recognize savings opportunities such as splitting utility bills and potentially qualifying for renter’s tax deductions which can offset some of the moving expenses.
• Start fresh together: Invest in a few new pieces of furniture or décor to mark the beginning of this new chapter. Choose items that represent both of your styles and make the space feel like it’s truly shared.
• Discuss modifications for living together: If moving into one partner’s current space, talk about necessary changes to make the space work for both.
• Unpack essentials first: Set up key areas of your home such as the bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen immediately after you move in. This allows you to maintain a normal routine while you unpack the rest of your belongings.

After settling in:

• Establish a routine: Discuss and set a weekly schedule for household chores, grocery shopping, and other household tasks. This helps distribute responsibilities fairly and ensures that the home is maintained properly.
• Communicate regularly: Keep the lines of communication open regarding how the living arrangement is working out. Be open to making adjustments to your initial agreements to better suit your daily lives.
• Maintain independence: While sharing a space, it’s important to maintain a sense of individuality. Encourage each other to pursue personal hobbies or spend time with friends independently. This helps maintain a healthy balance in your relationship, ensuring that you grow together without losing your personal identities.
• Celebrate the milestone: Host a housewarming party or have a special dinner just for the two of you to celebrate this significant step in your relationship. It’s important to acknowledge and enjoy this new beginning together.
• Be proactive and adaptive: As you live together, new situations and challenges will inevitably arise. Adopt a proactive approach to problem-solving and be open to adapting strategies and solutions. This attitude will help you both handle the ups and downs of shared living more effectively, strengthening your relationship in the process.

Try  a trial run before permanently moving in together

Before making a permanent move, it’s a wise idea to conduct a trial run to see how well you and your partner adjust to living together. This trial, lasting a week to a month, involves one partner staying at the other’s residence full-time, including weekdays and weekends, to engage in daily activities like cooking, cleaning, and managing schedules. This isn’t just a practice period but a chance to see how both of your habits, routines, and lifestyles mesh when sharing the same space.

During the trial, stick to your usual routines to get a real feel for living together. Check if the space works for both of you in terms of comfort, privacy, and practicality, especially if you’re thinking about moving into your partner’s current home. Keep an eye on your spending during this time to help with future budgeting. After the trial, talk over how it went, highlighting both the good parts and any difficulties. This discussion will help you both decide if and when you’re ready to make the move permanent, ensuring you both know what to expect.

Contingency planning: What to do if living together doesn’t work out

Creating a contingency plan for moving in together is about making sure both partners feel secure, not doubting your relationship. This preparation can reduce stress and boost confidence. Start with an open discussion about potential what-ifs, including handling a possible breakup, even though it might be uncomfortable.

For the lease, consider options that allow subletting or ensure both names are on the lease to protect your rights and simplify changes if needed. Keep clear records of who pays for what, like rent and utilities. Be ready to tackle new challenges by addressing issues early, and consider seeking external support, such as counseling, if necessary. Also, have an exit strategy in place, detailing how to split amicably, manage lease terms, and divide belongings. Always maintain respect and open communication, as how you handle these discussions can greatly impact your relationship.