One of the very first questions people ask when they are considering divorce is: “How much does a divorce cost?” After more than 37 years of practicing family law, I can tell you that the answer is almost always the same: It depends. That may sound frustrating, but there is a reason divorce attorneys answer the question that way; it is because no two divorces are alike. Some couples are able to work through issues calmly and efficiently, while others spend years in litigation.
The good news is that there are many factors that influence the cost of divorce, and several of those factors are within your control. Below are the most significant factors that may affect what you ultimately spend during your divorce process.
1. The Attorneys Involved Matter More Than You Think
One of the biggest factors influencing the cost of divorce is who each spouse hires as an attorney.
Some attorneys prioritize settlement, efficiency, and practical outcomes. Others take a far more aggressive approach and may litigate every issue, even minor disagreements. When a case becomes highly contentious, legal fees increase quickly. Every court appearance, motion, document request, and hearing adds time and expense. If either spouse is determined to fight over every issue, the cost can escalate dramatically.
Experienced divorce attorneys often have a fairly good sense of what a court is likely to do regarding property division and support. That is why many attorneys try to advise their clients of the range of outcomes and guide them through the negotiation process, with a goal of achieving a reasonable settlement whenever possible.
What You Can Control
- Choose an attorney whose philosophy aligns with your goals
- Be honest about whether your goal is to work toward resolution or whether you are seeking court intervention
- Stay focused on long-term outcomes instead of emotional victories
2. Court Battles Are Expensive
Anytime a divorce requires repeated trips to court, the costs increase. While one may prefer to avoid Court, Court involvement may become necessary in certain situations, including:
- One spouse refuses to provide financial documents
- A parent repeatedly violates agreements or court orders
- There are disputes involving children
- Someone refuses to negotiate reasonably
Litigation is sometimes unavoidable. However, many couples underestimate how emotionally draining and financially exhausting prolonged court battles can become.
There is also an unpredictability factor in family court. A judge’s role is to determine what is fair, or in a case involving children, what is in the children’s best interest. These are very subjective issues. Judges have a great deal of discretion in making these determinations. Consequently, what one judge considers “fair” may be very different from what another judge considers “fair.” While experienced attorneys develop an understanding of how certain judges tend to approach cases, no attorney can guarantee an outcome. The uncertainty involved in litigation is another reason why settlement is often preferable when possible. Settlement allows the parties to maintain a certain level of control over the court orders.
3. Two Households Cost More Than One
One of the most immediate financial realities of divorce is the creation of two separate households. Instead of one mortgage or rent payment, there may now be two. Instead of one set of utility bills, there are now duplicate expenses across separate homes. This transition period can create enormous financial pressure.
An Alternative: Nesting
Some families choose a temporary arrangement called “nesting.” In a nesting arrangement, the children remain in the marital home while the parents rotate in and out of the marital home during their parenting time. This can be a cost effective strategy where the parents are able to reside with friends or family during the other parent’s parenting time.
The idea behind nesting is to minimize disruption for children during the early stages of divorce. The children remain in familiar surroundings, maintain consistency, and avoid constantly moving between homes. For many families, nesting works well temporarily. However, over time, parents often begin to feel emotionally unsettled or as though they are “living out of a suitcase.” Privacy can also become an issue.
4. Hidden Assets and Forensic Accountants Can Increase Costs Significantly
Financial transparency is critical during divorce. Unfortunately, some spouses fail to disclose all financial accounts, retirement assets, investments or income.
When hidden assets are suspected, attorneys may recommend hiring a forensic accountant. Forensic accountants analyze financial records, business accounts, bank statements, and transfers to uncover discrepancies or undisclosed assets. However, these professionals can be extremely expensive. Depending on the complexity of the case, forensic accounting fees can range from thousands of dollars to tens of thousands of dollars.
Therefore, couples often have to ask an important question: Is the potential recovery worth the cost of the investigation? If someone is hiding significant assets, the answer may be yes. However, pursuing smaller amounts may not make financial sense.
Why Hidden Assets Are Difficult to Find Today
Years ago, paper statements arriving in the mail often made financial accounts easier to identify. Today, with online banking and digital statements, undisclosed accounts can be much harder to discover. That being said, sometimes clues emerge through transfers between accounts, unexplained withdrawals, or inconsistencies in financial records.
In Massachusetts, financial statements are signed under the pains and penalties of perjury. However, in practice, courts do not always impose severe sanctions unless there is strong evidence of intentional deception, which can be difficult to prove. As a practicing attorney, I instruct my clients that the best approach is always full disclosure and transparency.
5. Using Your Attorney as Your Therapist Will Cost You
Divorce is emotional. There is no way around that. People are grieving, angry, anxious, scared, and overwhelmed. Naturally, many clients lean heavily on their divorce attorney for support. The problem is that attorneys bill by the hour. A one-hour emotional conversation can become a very expensive therapy session.
While divorce attorneys absolutely care about their clients, and many are compassionate listeners, it is important to keep in mind that you are retaining an attorney to provide you with legal advice and to represent your interests throughout the legal process.
There are better options to provide emotional support. To reduce both emotional strain and legal costs, consider building a support system that includes:
- A therapist
- A divorce coach
- A divorce support group
- Trusted friends and family
- Online divorce communities
Support groups can be especially powerful because they remind people they are not alone. Having the right emotional support often helps clients make clearer, calmer legal decisions as well.
6. Poor Organization Increases Legal Fees
One of the simplest ways to reduce divorce costs is to stay organized. Attorneys spend significant time gathering, organizing and reviewing financial documents. In Massachusetts, parties are generally expected to produce multiple years of: bank statements, retirement account statements, investment account statements and tax returns.
If clients provide incomplete information, or send documents piecemeal, the attorney or the attorney’s staff, will ultimately bill the client for the time spent organizing and overseeing the production of documents. The attorney may also have to resort to subpoenaing missing documents. In both scenarios, the result is increased legal fees. On the other hand, if a client can present the requested documents in an organized manner, it will streamline the process and ultimately reduce attorney’s fees.
7. Anger and Resentment Can Make Divorce Last for Years
One of the most expensive aspects of divorce is unresolved emotional conflict. When people are deeply angry or resentful, they may resist compromise simply because they do not want the other person to “win.” Unfortunately, this mindset often hurts everyone involved, including the person who is unwilling to negotiate. Aside from escalating attorney’s fees, extended litigation can also intensify the stress to both parties and their children and needlessly delay the resolution of the case.
This is not to say that a party should simply give up on important issues. Rather, there is a difference between protecting one’s interests and prolonging conflict out of anger. Sometimes the healthiest and most financially sound decision is to focus on moving forward rather than continuing the fight.
8. Mediation Can Save Time, Money, and Emotional Stress
Mediation can be one of the most effective ways to reduce divorce costs.
In mediation, couples work together with their mediator, a neutral third party, to resolve issues including: property division, custody, parenting schedules, child support, spousal support, taxes and health insurance.
The mediation process typically involves a few meetings with a mediator, reviewing the draft divorce agreement, conferring with counsel regarding the terms of the agreement, signing the necessary paperwork and attending one court hearing in which the Court reviews, and presumably approves, the divorce agreement.
Mediation has many benefits, including:
- Resolving issues more quickly than a litigated divorce
- Minimizing stress to the parties
- Improving communication between the parties
- Promoting co-parenting relationships
- Creating customized agreements that reflect a family’s unique needs
- Reducing legal fees (as compared to litigating a contested divorce)
You Do Not Have to Be Best Friends to Mediate
The focus of mediation is to engage in negotiations to arrive at a mutually agreeable solution.
One common misconception is that mediation only works if couples get along well. That is simply not true. Many people turn down mediation as an option as they cannot conceive of sitting down in the same room as their spouse. In those instances, mediators may offer to separate the parties in separate rooms and move between rooms to negotiate the terms of the agreement; this process is sometimes referred to as “shuttle mediation.”
The focus of mediation is to resolve issues that are disagreed upon in order to build a workable future. For many families, mediation creates a calmer and healthier foundation for life after divorce.
Final Thoughts
Divorce is never easy, emotionally or financially. However,t understanding what drives costs can help you make smarter decisions throughout the process.
In many cases, the people who spend the least on divorce are not necessarily the people with the simplest situations. Often, cost savings result when people stay organized, remain focused on resolution, seek emotional support outside of their attorney’s office and commit to solving problems instead of escalating conflict.
Whenever possible, approach divorce with preparation, transparency, and a long-term perspective. Doing so can save not only money, but also emotional energy, time and unnecessary stress for everyone involved.
Like this article? Check out “7 Ways to Empower Yourself During Divorce”