What’s your mother story? Some of us are mothers and some of us are not. But we all have one, or at least had one at some point.
Whether you were raised by a family member, a guardian, adopted mother, or from the original packaging, mothers are where life begins. And it’s also in that first relationship we begin to form our thoughts, opinions, and beliefs.
Mothers can be the source of anything from pure love to a litany of horrible memories and everything in between. The interesting thing is that our mother story has a lot to do with our own story. We can blame our mothers for not loving us enough, or being too judgmental, overbearing, or not paying any attention to us. We tell ourselves (and anyone else who will listen) that we aren’t good enough because our mothers said so. It’s always easier to make it someone else’s fault that we are the way we are.
Personally, I struggled with my own mother story for many years until I finally decided I needed to make some changes in my life. This is about the time I also discovered the real truth about my mother. She was tough, no doubt, I’m not alone in this assessment, trust me; But to her credit, she was doing the best she could with the information she had at the time. That’s the lesson I came away with.
As I’ve mentioned in the past, Doreen (AKA Mom), was the third of eighteen children—all single births, one mom, one dad, fourteen girls, four boys, and they lived on a farm with limited niceties. I’m speculating, that to leave this craziness as early as possible, she gave up her dream of becoming a nurse, married my father at the ripe old of twenty and by the time she was twenty-five had three children of her own.
No wonder she was so tough! I think for the rest of her life she was just looking for herself and desperately wanted to be seen.
When I was able to look at it all through this lens, her toughness and high standards took on a different meaning for me. I began to understand that she didn’t have the capacity to be the mother figure I wanted in my life. She was being who she was, it was the best she could do.
I was the one living in a fantasy based on social standards and Hallmark cards telling us how mothers are “supposed” to be. What made this a little more challenging to understand was that:
The love and approval I desired from my mom was exactly what I needed to give to myself.
That awareness has taken time to sink in but it’s also where the real work began for me.
If you’ve got a mother story firmly rooted deep down in your soul that comes out to play at the most inconvenient times wreaking havoc on your success in life, relationships, or career, perhaps it’s time to do something about it. I can help.
Michèle has decades of experience serving in executive leadership roles in both the corporate and nonprofit sectors. Her nonprofit work has focused on youth development, domestic violence prevention, and relationship health education. She earned her degrees in marketing and the fine arts from Eastern Washington University, nurturing her creative spirit and business acumen.
For 15 years, Michèle served as an advertising executive, but her most treasured role came when she embraced the joy of being a stay-at-home mom. One of the most treasured chapters of her life.
However, life took an unexpected turn in 2010 with her second divorce, leading her to establish a consulting company. As she helped businesses flourish, she discovered that beneath the surface, people were yearning for something more profound – a transformation of their beliefs and patterns obstructing their path to success. Friends and family also began seeking her guidance through their divorces, an unforeseen entrance into the world of coaching.
Michèle’s evolution continued as she served as an executive for a national nonprofit organization, a role she had landed after working with one of her first coaches. Her belief in the power of coaching inspired her to earn her Life Coaching Certification through iPEC (Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching) and a Divorce Coach Certification from IAPCollege.
Though Michèle wholeheartedly enjoys assisting people with various life challenges, her natural gravitation towards divorce coaching stems from personal experience and the countless lives she’s touched throughout her lifetime. Divorce, an emotionally charged journey intertwined with practical necessities, drew her in. She understands that divorce can be one of life’s most formidable trials, and having a supportive advocate can profoundly impact the settlement outcome and a person’s well-being.
Service to others has forever been Michèle’s North Star, illuminating her path in coaching. Her genuine love for people radiates through every facet of her work, creating a safe and comforting space for those she serves. With a gentle, compassionate, and warm approach, she stands by your side, ensuring your journey is met with understanding, empathy, and unwavering support.
You can contact Michèle at michele@micheleheffron.com or visit her website at www.micheleheffron.com
